


Shaken, Not Stirred

by vyrenrolar



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Alcohol, Bartenders, Gen, People Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 01:29:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10322417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vyrenrolar/pseuds/vyrenrolar
Summary: Guinan goes to Quark's bar for a drink.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this like a hundred years ago in junior high? And then lost it and rewrote it?

Guinan strode into the bar, purple robe billowing behind her. She was a woman on a mission, for she was having one of her decennial cravings. She slid onto a barstool beside a rather lumpy-looking gray fellow and twisted around to face the Ferengi currently polishing a glass.

“One Tzekenthian Twilight, if you please.”

“Right away. Anything else I can get for you?”

“No, that’d be all. Thank you.”

As she waited for him to make the drink, she swiveled the stool around once more in order to watch the crowd. She always found people so…fascinating. She supposed that was part of why she became a bartender in the first place. Not that she hadn’t been other things. She had had hundreds of years to experiment with careers, after all.

There were the Dabo girls—that one would find out she was pregnant within the month; the one over there would be dead within a year of a plague that came to her world only once every 792 years; and the other one, actually a man, was probably saving up the money to cover the requisite surgery.

She turned her gaze to the Security Chief’s office across the Promenade. There, she saw a Bajoran woman going over what were most likely security reports with a man who was most likely the Security Chief himself. Guinan watched their fingers linger perhaps a little too long on the PADDs as they were passed back and forth and chuckled to herself. They would figure it out eventually.

Turning back to the bar, thinking of all the young love there was in the universe, she nearly fell off her stool when she saw what the orange _insect_ behind the counter was doing to her drink. “Are you _stirring_ my Tzekenthian Twilight?”

“Yes. Is there a problem with that?” Even his voice was slimy.

Guinan felt her temperature rising as she leaned over the counter slightly, chin jutting just a bit more forward than usual. “Tzekenthian Twilights are meant to be shaken, _not_ stirred. One would _think_ that such an accomplished bartender as yourself would know something as simple as that.”

The bartender looked affronted. “It has always been my experience that customers prefer theirs stirred. Shaking the drink always tends to make the glass look dirty.”

“It’s supposed to look dark, you blithering idiot! You put it in front of the customer, you flick the glass, and it _sparkles_.”

The Ferengi shrank; his customer was now looming over him and had apparently grown 6 sizes larger.

“What seems to be the trouble, Quark? Are you bothering this woman?” The Security Chief had made his way over from his office to see what all the fuss was about. Most of the patrons of the bar were staring at the woman and the veritable steam coming out her ears.

“Am I—Am I bothering her? Now you see here, Mr. Odo, I—”

Guinan drew herself up to her full height and turned to the Changeling. “As long as he makes my drink properly, there won’t be any cause for alarm.”

Odo harrumphed and folded his arms. “You heard the lady, Quark. Fix the drink.”

Quark, still shaking slightly from the stare he had received, tentatively placed another glass over top of the one containing the drink and shook it, just enough to coat the surface of both glasses. He placed one in front of the purple-clad woman and gingerly flicked it, causing it to sparkle. She took a sip and sighed happily. “Now that’s more like it. _Thank_ you.”

Quark scurried to the other end of the bar as Odo nodded respectfully to Guinan, turned on his heel, and walked back to his office.

Guinan nursed her drink as she began once more to people-watch. _Honestly_ , she thought. _Is it really that much trouble to get a drink shaken, not stirred?_


End file.
